[Saturday Night]

[flybywash]

It's late. Nearly everyone on the ship's asleep -- or trying to sleep, or pretending to sleep.

Wash isn't.

He's leaning against Serenity's windscreen, hands shoved deep in his pockets, silently watching the stars.

Comments

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

Zoe's not even pretending to sleep.

The night before she shipped out to join the Unification War, she'd spent alone, walking her parents' fields, doing her best to clear her mind and focus her thoughts.

That's what she's been trying to do tonight. It hasn't been working.

Being alone isn't the best way for her to find peace of mind, anymore.

"Hey." It's all she says as she slips onto the bridge, moving to join him.

[flybywash]

Wash looks over his shoulder and musters up a faint smile.

He wants to make some typical dry attempt at humour. Say something like, Oh, good, another insomniac to share my pain. It gets lost en route to his mouth; in the end, all that comes out is his own soft, "Hey."

When she's close enough, he reaches out to settle a hand on the small of her back.

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

Zoe leans her head against his shoulder. No need to be tough right now. No pretense.

She doesn't say anything else yet.

[flybywash]

Wash moves closer, hand sliding around to cradle her waist. Gently, he kisses the top of her head.

And for a moment, he justs rests there, eyes closed. When he finally looks back to the stars, his voice sounds a little muddled.

"'M not the only one with a little mental countdown that's refusing to shut up, am I?"

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

"Nope."

Zoe leans into him, slipping one arm around him in return.

For just a little while, tonight, let him be the strong one.

When she speaks again, her voice is barely more than a whisper.

"I ain't felt this way since the war."

[flybywash]

He hitches in a small, sharp breath.

"Oh, baby...."

Turning into her touch, both arms around his wife now. There's so much he could say, and so much he doesn't, because there isn't any use in saying something if you still can't shake all the doubts yourself.

Best to stick with what's true.

"I've got you, Zo'," he whispers in her ear. "Every step. You know that, right?"

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

"I know."

Zoe rests her forehead against the curve of his neck, her free hand coming to rest just over his heart.

"It--it ain't just the bad stuff, though. And that almost makes it worse."

[flybywash]

"What do you mean?"

Wash turns his head just enough to look at her.

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

Zoe takes a deep breath, and draws back, her hands moving to rest on his shoulders.

This is something that's been on her mind for a long time, and if she can unburden herself to anyone, it's Wash.

"You know a lot of bad stuff happened in the war, and not just at the end. But...it wasn't always like that. When I first joined up, and whenever things were going well for us...it felt good. Felt right. And I ain't ever felt quite that same way about anythin'. Until now."

[flybywash]

Silence again.

Then: a wry, tiny quirk of a smile.

"I'm still not gonna pretend I understand the wacky violence thing," he says, and moves a hand to squeeze hers. "But...wŏ bù zhī dào. It's doing something to make right, yeah? Trying to change things."

A breath.

"You do something to make things better and of course it's gonna feel right."

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

Zoe returns the smile, but only briefly.

"Shì a. But like I said...I ain't ever felt that way since the war ended. An' I ain't ever wanted to, because of how it ended last time. Dŏng ma? But with the gunslingers, and this...I do. An' it scares me."

[flybywash]

Wash's eyes are suddenly rather overbright.

Carefully, he takes Zoe's face in his hands, brushing back a few loose strands of hair as he does.

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

Zoe's hands slide from his shoulders to his neck, and she leans forward until their foreheads touch.

"Got more to lose this time around, for one thing."

[flybywash]

"Doesn't mean you will."

His thumb traces a small line on her cheek, and though his eyes are still shining, another tiny smile tugs at his lips.

"I'm like one of those limpets. You got me, you're stuck with me forever. Even got some contingency haunting plans all worked out with Lilly if I need 'em."

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

Zoe can't quite smile at that, but she moves in closer, and slides her hands up into his hair, and pulls him into a very thorough kiss.

When it finally breaks, she leans against him again and whispers, "Wŏ ài nĭ."

[flybywash]

"Wŏ ài nĭ, piào liàng de qī zi."

Two more soft kisses: first on her forehead, then again, properly, on her lips. The second one lingers a while.

"Come back to me tomorrow?" he says, and oh, how he hates the way it has to carry so much uncertainty.

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

Zoe does manage to muster a smile, now, even though it trembles a bit.

"What, you think I'd leave you'n the rest without me around to keep you all in line? 'Specially you. You'd have that mustache again before anyone knew it, an' probably scare the daylights out of River."

[flybywash]

He exhales a quiet, not-quite laugh, pulling back just long enough to resettle his arms around her waist.

"Then it's settled: for the sake of the children and nobody ever seeing the Face Ferret again. We have no choice."

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

Zoe's expression turns solemn again at "for the sake of the children", and she slips her arms around his neck, her forehead resting against his again.

[flybywash]

Wash's half-smile fades. He just looks at Zoe, arms tightening around her by a fraction.

(when it's all over, maybe we should go ahead...)

"Alain's gonna be with you, right?"

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

Zoe nods silently, not moving out of his embrace.

[flybywash]

"You, uh."

He swallows.

"You gonna let him lead the charge?"

It's less a question than it is a plea.

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

It's a moment before Zoe answers. When she does, her tone is neutral.

"Wasn't plannin' on it."

[flybywash]

Of course not.

Wouldn't be Zoe if she did.

Wash doesn't say anything, but it's impossible to miss the way his body tenses.

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

"Baby..."

Zoe takes a step back, and looks him straight in the eye.

"I ain't got a death wish, and I don't plan on takin' any unnecessary risks. But I also ain't hidin' behind anyone. Not even a gunslinger."

[flybywash]

Tension threading through his voice now, too: "That's not -- "

But with a visible effort, he cuts himself off before he can go any further. This, of all nights, is not the night for it.

Doesn't mean it takes any less time for the lines of his shoulders to ease, nor for him to nod, however reluctantly, as his gaze drifts to the floor.

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

Zoe moves closer again, and hugs him tightly.

Just because she doesn't agree doesn't mean she doesn't understand.

"I'll be fine."

[flybywash]

He breathes deep, and rests his chin on her shoulder.

"Good," he mumbles. "'Cause, you for the mustache's great and glorious return...kind of not the best trade."

More silence. Beneath their feet, Serenity hums softly; outside, the stars glitter.

"Got any plans to sleep tonight?"

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

Zoe turns her head, her mouth brushing against his ear for a moment before answering.

"Probably not. Might have to find some other way to occupy myself."

[flybywash]

"Mmm."

The smile's a bit slow to form, but it's genuine, and much bigger than before. Affecting nonchalance, "Well, you know, if you need any help..."

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

"Well, I wouldn't want to be any inconvenience..."

At some point, Zoe's fingers have started trailing up and down his back.

"I mean, I'm sure there's all manner of important piloty things I shouldn't be distractin' you from..."

[flybywash]

An exaggerated, long-suffering sigh. It turns into a groan midway through.

"You're right. Never know when that proximity alert's gonna go off. Best if I just stay up here the whole night."

Wash leans to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

"....Wouldn't mind company, though," he suggests, as if it's just occuring to him.

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

Zoe kisses him back, then smiles teasingly. "Oh, I think maybe that could be arranged."

[flybywash]

Wash grins outright. In the expression, he looks more like himself than he has in days. "Shiny."

Hands cradling her face again, he pulls her into another slow, thorough kiss; and in it, there are no constellations, no engine, and no skyplexes waiting for them immeasurable miles ahead. It's just them. Husband and wife.

'Til death do we part.

Five minutes later, the bridge door is locked and shut tight. For good or ill, this will all be over in twenty-four hours, and there are better ways to spend it than in solitude.