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[flybywash]

It's taken five days, but the first hints of land-craziness are finally starting to prickle his skin.

Tomorrow, Wash thinks. The pain's dropped down to little more than the occasional twinge if he moves too sharply, and he's walking (okay, hobbling) further and further without feeling like he just ran ten miles at a dead sprint. Tomorrow morning he'll go up to room 76 for a while; tomorrow night, hopefully, he'll see about going back to Serenity.

Even if it's only for a couple hours.

He sits on his side of the bed, crosslegged, and flips through Martin Miggs the Mad Muggle #45.

Comments

[badinlatin]

"Can't work for someone you hate."

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

Zoe says nothing.

She's not looking at either of them.

[flybywash]

"Mal, look."

He blinks, rapidly, as his eyes well up.

"It's been three weeks for you. It's been five days for me, and it ain't 'til this afternoon that I've felt anywhere near approaching normal. You can't ask me to do this again right now.

"Please."

[badinlatin]

"I didn't want to do none o' this in the first, Wash."

Mal swallows, hard, and his gaze shifts.

"I didn't want to do any of it. I live on ifs and maybes when my head wants solid." A random hand through his hair. "I am trying. Real hard. I want to be solid. Maybe solid's what I've been goin' for all along.

"It's the lack o' that what failed ya, to my understanding. For all I made happen around me, I failed."

[flybywash]

What can he say to that?

It's an apology, or as much of one as he's expecting to get.

A long beat of silence, and tiny, tiny ghost of a smile. "You're damn lucky I got bored and came back, sir."

And as much of an acknowledgement as he can give in return right now.

[badinlatin]

"Sounds as though I need to make good now."

[flybywash]

"I'll be back on board tomorrow. I think."

He pokes at his right knee.

"Still kind of hobbly, but...."

[badinlatin]

"Might have to fight River for your seat back."

[flybywash]

Wash cants his head, confused.

"What? River...why?"

[badinlatin]

"Well I can't manage to fly the ship all damned day. Got my own job to do."

Mal may not be smiling, but he doesn't look like he's going to pop a vein anymore.

[flybywash]

Wash eyes him skeptically for another moment, then sighs once he realizes that yeah, Mal's being dead serious here. Worry flares in his eyes.

Girl's like a rutting Swiss Army knife sometimes.

"So that explains why she was helping with the sparkly pink lights," he says with forced lightness.

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

Zoe hasn't said much on the subject of River learning to do Wash's job.

Not just to Wash. To anyone.

Now, she speaks up in a low, steady voice.

"Girl ain't bad at it." She's still been not looking at either of them. Now, she finally meets Wash's eyes. "But she ain't you."

[badinlatin]

"No."

"She ain't."

[flybywash]

To Zoe, automatically falling back on an old joke, "You have to say that, you're my wife."

He looks at Mal, and sighs again.

"Tomorrow," he repeats, quietly. "If everything goes right."

[badinlatin]

"Tomorrow."

Mal can wait. Mal will wait.

Tomorrow.

"I'll see you back on the ship."

[flybywash]

"Yeah. See you then."

He watches as Mal leaves, shutting the door behind him.

Then he props his elbows on his knees and buries his face in his hands.

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

Zoe stays where she is for a few moments.

Then, she crosses the room and lowers herself onto the opposite side of the bed.

Her hands are in her lap, and she's looking steadily at them, rather than him.

[flybywash]

"Great plan," he mutters. "Let's all talk about it. Yeah."

Raising his head abruptly, pleading, "You see what I didn't want to?"

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

Zoe's still not looking up.

Low, "You really think goin' back to work without havin' any of that out would've been better?"

[flybywash]

"Least I would've gotten a couple extra days to try and give that wild and wacky 'tact' thing a try."

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

There's a long pause before Zoe says anything.

Then, "We coulda not done it. He couldn't've forced us."

[flybywash]

A low, bitter laugh.

"Right, because getting a bullet to the gut would've been a much more pleasant way to go."

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

"It wouldn't've come to that."

Zoe's tone is forceful. Whether that's certain forceful or trying-to-sound-certain forceful isn't clear.

"He'd've tried to do it on his own, maybe--but he wouldn't've forced us to do it if we'd truly set ourselves against it."

A pause, and she finally looks up at him. "I ain't sayin' that makes what we did any better. Just--it was our choice to go along with it. It ain't fair to pin it all on him."

[flybywash]

"And who is it that's always been telling me we gotta listen to the captain because he's the gorram captain?" he demands.

But it's unfair, and he knows it. Wash cups his forehead again, eyes squeezed shut.

"I'm sorry."

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

Lots of unfair things, these days.

Zoe reaches out and lays one hand on his arm, almost hesitantly.

"So'm I."

She still thinks making them get this over with will be better, in the long run.

That doesn't make it hurt any less right now.